Greetings in the Name of the Lord, 

As we continue to intentionally slow down and take a few weeks to reflect on the things that were lost during the pandemic and the things that changed during the pandemic, we bring our attention to the way relationships changed.

The isolation that occurred and some of the uncertainty and fear that surrounded that isolation created heightened levels of stress. When humans are stressed, our nervous systems react in different ways. Some of what happens is that we are more reactive (as opposed to responsive), we lose patience, we lose focus, we get upset more easily, we tend to avoid nuance and deep dives and live at the surface, often making things more black and white they then appear. It is harder to be compassionate, thoughtful and kind when we are stressed, and long term stress, like the kind that occurred during the months of isolation can have lasting impacts.  I know personally, I could not read anything longer than a few pages for at least a few years, in fact I have only been able to start reading novels again in the last year or two.  If you think about before and after the quarantines, chances are you too can identify at least a few things that shifted and took time to return to "normal".

Due to this heightened and extended period of stress, many of us turned inward, and many of our relationships suffered as a result.  We lost some ability to be patient, to be present to one another. We became more suspicious, quicker to anger, quicker to dismiss.  We lost many of our more casual connections, many social connections withered. There was also intergenerational disconnection, as older generations were often fearful to be freely around the youngest generations. Grandparents did not get to see grandchildren for extended periods of time. In the inward turn we lost some sense of shared responsibility, even some sense of the common good, where it became easier to retreat into tribes and identities, and hardened individualism became the norm.  

And a generation of kids & teenagers grew up without typical social interactions, of being in the midst of the group, of experiencing social faux pas and social successes in low risk environments, as so many generations before them did in the cafeteria or the playground.  

In some ways this is one of the most insidious aspects of pandemic loss because the extended stress makes it hard to even remember things clearly, to be able to honestly assess what actually happened, it was long enough that some things turned into habits, and once habits are formed, they can be hard to break, even when we recognize the errors they manifest.  

And the hyperindividualism that seems to be overtaking our culture in profound ways can be linked to things like social media, and cultural trends that have been occurring for decades, but the stress of the pandemic and our injured social norms only deepened the inward turn in ways that are hard for us to notice.  

Add to this that all of us know of people that were "broken" by COVID and just haven't been the same since, but it can be particularly hard to be able to look in the mirror and acknowledge the ways the period of stress afftected our own abilities to be in healthy relationships. 

As a church, we can help to reclaim some of the kindness and compassion that was lost during the pandemic by intentionally turning to the Love of God, to looking to the model Christ puts in the word, and seek to be transformed, or maybe restored is a better term, to a place of health and love. This week's lament for what was lost is also in many ways an act of confession, seeking forgiveness from God.

As we close this week, is there someone you haven't talked to in a while, someone you miss? Is there a relationship you lost because of some sort of breakdown during the worst of the pandemic? First forgive yourself, the stress was real, and it impacted our nervous systems in real way, then maybe, if you can forgive the other party, and if you are truly courageous, maybe seek to apologize and/or offer forgiveness to them.  No one is perfect, and the challenges of the pandemic didn't make anything easier. There was damage done, but when we turn to God in prayer, Love can find ways to prevail.  

In Peace, 

Mike